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Struggle and The Single Thread

Born into a heavy English, Irish and Scottish background everything is always a struggle.  Ready to fight everything, rush into a battle at a moment’s notice.  Face whatever stands in front of me straight on. I am a warrior at heart down to the marrow of my bones. I stand strong, alone or with others of like mind, at the ready.  Engaging battle at a moment's notice. Now as I stand in my old age of 72, I find the struggle in its nature is really with myself.  Now the fight is within hanging onto what I have always known to be versus reality.  As I reflect I am continually grasping onto what is familiar.  The struggle with the unknown grasping and gripping tight to what feels normal.  The question remains simply “what is normal”?   When trying to sleep, sometimes my legs spasm.  If I focus upon them it gets worse if I ignore them sometimes it stops sometimes not.  The spasms sometimes happen when I try to do visualizations or meditati...

Presentness

It has happened often, I find myself in a place where everything just flows.  No thought, no expectations, no planning, just the simple flow of everything. No reaching out, no planning, I simply find everything I need present without thinking. Just seeing and movement, all expectations met without asking.  Looking within a wholeness with everything that is, everything is complete, nothing left out or divided, a simple oneness ever present without asking, everything is held within. I wrote this description of a state of mind I shared with my husband on a trip to Minot.  As we were driving up we were talking about Carlos Casteneta’s writings about how they fit into actual reality as we perceive it.  As we arrived into Minot driving along all the lights were green, as we drove into a parking lot a parking place was present.  Everything was simply present without asking.  It was not a wish but a simple reality.  It lasted all day and upon arriving home I d...

Living from within

I am speaking of the state of mind I have always strived to obtain.  The state of giving oneself to the utter joy of the moment, letting go of everything and resting in the moment of quiet giving oneself up to the beauty found within.  Letting go and flowing out of the body upon one’s breath stepping out in the river of life to the sheer beauty of the moment and flowing filled with joy and being the river and flowing along with it.   The state of mind I refer to as play because on this level everything is filled with the sheer joy of the moment.  No expectations just letting everything drop away and being with what ever is present and rejoicing in the present moment.   An actual childhood experience while experiencing the state of consciousness above, “the sun sifting through the tree and feeling the warmth of the sun alternating with the shade, the air moving the leaves back and forth, just setting in the moment truly experiencing life’s joys.”

The Final Words of Plotinus

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Moments

  Once your thoughts have quieted and you have turned within, feeling the utter joy of being one with the universe. You come to rest in the beauty of the moment. One with everything. I had a dream in 2001 while living on Vashon Island in Washington state. Which mirrors what I was speaking of in the above paragraph. I see an Indian he has on blue jeans a long sleeved shirt, his hair was tied  back with a bandanna tied around his forehead. He was stocky in his build,  His face was round and weathered. The area where he stood was vast and  light and dry like the prairie, He reached out grasping my forearm and I in  turn grasp his. As our arms locked I was pulled closer to him. The area  where we are now standing is dark like a cave. He pulls me into him and wraps  me round with a blanket he is wearing, as he is doing this our physical  bodies meld into one. As this happens the energy in the minds eye is a  backward and inward turning motion....

Letting Go

  This is probably the most valuable thing anyone can come to terms with. Such a simple thought letting go of all restraint and allowing yourself to be what it is. Nothing tying it down, no control, moving with the flow of the universe. So let’s explore the How of it, but first let us look at the images first in order to get an idea of what we are looking at. My husband described a memory of when he was young. He said these were the moments in his life that brought him the most peace.  He would go out in the horse pasture, loosen his reins on the horse and open up to the expanse of the prairie and just ride. I know of a chef who ran a four-star restaurant. He said when he was working that he was aware of everything around him. There were many chefs doing their jobs and he was aware of what each one of them was doing, while he was working he would hold this focus. This is what he enjoyed most about his job. For myself I would have to say for me were the moments of touchin...

Meditation

When seeking insight and happiness little do you know it is held within. Everything is held within.  No need to look outside yourself. So when I wish to see I turn and look within.  It all starts by finding your center. Your center is where everything within is quiet.  Not being pulled by the emotions this way or that. Like listening to beautiful music or focusing on a beautiful poem or simply watching children at play.  Everything is right in your universe, a feeling of rest and being at peace inside, all is quiet.  Here is where you will find your center.  It may appear as simple focus but in reality there is nothing simple about it in the sense that when something grabs all your attention whatever it may be, it holds all your attention.  Your focus at these times is when you are giving your all to it.  Discursive thoughts are quiet; you are focusing totally upon the object of your perception. Pure unadulterated focus resting quietly upon any p...